2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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