i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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