I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
She's the barista slut.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
