a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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