If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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