I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
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