New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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