that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
