You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
