I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Randomize
