its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
