You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
