he thought i was a dude.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Randomize
