I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
