i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
two words: eviction party
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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