margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
