idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
