But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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