Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
