I can text with my tongue
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
can u get pink eye on your cock?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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