Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
