I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
