Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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