new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
