And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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