No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
