My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Buhtt sex?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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