Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
