I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
