Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
my liver is dry heaving
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
