I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
