shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
