dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
