I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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