And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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