"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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