return my video game
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
