yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
