I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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