I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I am midnight drunk by noon
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
this is an emotional support booty call
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
