Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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