..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
