seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
