she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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