just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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