He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Randomize
