Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
