So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
