just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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