I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
